need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There r osticjed everywhere
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
