what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
