Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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