Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize