Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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