I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
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You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My vagina is officially offended.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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