Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
