my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
