When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
