yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
