I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
