What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
