ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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