puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I had to cum in my sink.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
