Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
