i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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