I heard we made out
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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