I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
