is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
