No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
birth control should be required to get into college
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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