going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
