he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
