i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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