We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
