Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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