I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
