Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And then he peed in my hair
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