This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize