garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
