apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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