We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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