I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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