Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
