Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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