Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found your dick twin last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
