Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
