# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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