I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
