the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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