The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont even know how to be here
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
