He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
