will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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