p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
