Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
