we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
