Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
