So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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