Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
