what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Bring me that man meat
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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