thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
someone threw a dead crab at me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
