I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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