So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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