If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
