Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
