It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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