she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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