everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
