Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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