worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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