Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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