everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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