I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
