I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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