You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
