found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
