Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
