I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
