I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
